ADDICTION TO VALIDATION

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SEEKING VALIDATION

Most times in our lives, all we seek is people’s validation,

That hint in their eyes, a sign of approval, of their recognition,

 Like living and being yourself needs everyone’s permission,

We second-guess our decisions, to ensure their satisfaction,

We shrink with anxiety and fear of another person’s opinion,

We go to great lengths to provide everyone an explanation,

Of our choices, our decisions, our reasoning, our every action.

And let fear of disapproval and criticism become our only motivation.
Do we ever stop to ask ourselves how we ourselves are fairing?

Or how much our addiction to attention leaves us suffering?

Do we ever hear our own voices or we just are never listening?

Do we realize how much it holds us back and the time we’re wasting? 

Why is it too difficult to focus on what it is that we love doing?

To get in touch with what matters to us, and what’ll make life fulfilling?

Why can’t we make being ourselves as natural as breathing?

Who said we need everyone to agree that we’ve excelled in something?
We can be, and indeed are the greatest source of our happiness,

You are the right person for that job whether or not you make a mess,

Don’t let your need for approval affect your performance and success,

You don’t need to look to others to feel good about yourself or to progress,

Don’t be stuck doing something you don’t enjoy just to try and impress,

Even under such pressure, you can build a sense of self-acceptance nonetheless,

Acknowledge the times you’ve been true to yourself, appreciate such boldness.

Let success be doing what’s important to you and life’ll be much more effortless 
Make never seeking validation from others your eleventh commandment,

Don’t let your performance anxiety paralyze your true self like an ailment,

Don’t be too shy and introverted, wear self-confidence like a garment,

You can’t please everyone, people will show disrespect and resentment,

No matter what you do to impress them, focus on your personal fulfillment,

Speak your opinions, learn to say no, there’s no shame in being different,

See disapproval as a chance to improve your performance not as a determent,

Be honest with yourself, embrace learning and focus on constant improvement.

©PETER MAINA

One Comment on “ADDICTION TO VALIDATION”

  1. PastorLucyPaynter – I'm a perfectionist, I work the details to the dots in the i's And I believe if we fall and keep breathing we can always arise. Sometimes I wonder, 'if I'd become everything I wanted as a girl, Would I be better than this or caught up in a different whirl?' I close my eyes and hear the voices of those who look up to me, The hopeful eyes in their pictures.....I think I can see what they see, I want to wake up one morning and see the people I care about happy. I'm a perfectionist, I work the details to the dots in the i's And I believe if we fall and keep breathing we can always arise. I pretend I'm not hurt even when I am, 'Cause when fighting ain't an option,the least we can do is keep calm. There're times when I feel terribly overwhelmed, But bless everything through which I've helmed, There's been God, there's been you, to pull me through. I oft'n worry that the things I so believe in may not be true, And you can trust me to cry at the idea of failing in what I set out to do. I'm a perfectionist, I work the details to the dots in the i's And I believe if we fall and keep breathing we can always arise. I understand that it's hard to please everyone, But if I could, there's nothing I'd want more than to see a smile on the face of every man. I believe and so say everyone deserves a second chance, I judge not...at least never at first glance. I dream of the day when I can look at my life and say 'this is where I wanted to be. I have, I do, I always will try the best in everyone to see, And I hope at the end of my life, I will not have left a trail of broken hearts behind me.
    plucypaynter

    Reblogged this on Pastor Lucy Paynter.

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