YOU’RE NOT A BURDEN

There’re those moments in life when everything seems pointless, When you can’t accept help from people ‘cause you feel helpless, When the far you’ve come doesn’t matter, you still feel hopeless, Wh…

Source: YOU’RE NOT A BURDEN

YOU’RE NOT A BURDEN

There’re those moments in life when everything seems pointless,

When you can’t accept help from people ‘cause you feel helpless,

When the far you’ve come doesn’t matter, you still feel hopeless,

When your pain has pushed you close enough to your threshold for stress.
That moment when you feel that you have nothing to aspire to,

When you feel like a waste of space; like you’ll never break through,

When it feels like things will never get better no matter what you do,

And you start thinking your family and friends will be better without you.
That moment when you’re going through a complete lack of motivation,

When there seems to be no end in sight and you can’t change the condition

Like being pulled in different directions and yet, still stuck on one position,

Be it a disease, or whatever other condition, this is a dangerous emotion.
I wanna tell you that you’re not a burden to your friends or family,

There’re better days ahead no matter what you go through daily,

You have so much going for you and people who love you dearly,

Who act out of the kindness of their hearts, and ever so happily.
Letting them help you doesn’t in any way mean that you’re broken,

It’s true, accepting help can be challenging, but it helps to be open

Reach out, voice your concerns, don’t let yourself feel so forsaken,

I know you care about them, but they care about you too, so listen.
Stop seeing only the bad things in your life, it’s not your fault,

Refrain from critical self-talk, it’ll only push you towards self-assault,

You have value, so choose life, be a survivor even when it’s difficult,

Let them know how you feel and you will be surprised at the result.
There’s a reason why you were put in this world, you’re not a loser,

You’re loved, unique, beautiful beyond vision; you have a great future,

Let people be there for you like you’ve been for them, let them get closer,

Surround yourself with those who support you, feel the love they have to offer.
Be open to others, deepen the connection and intimacy that you share,

Be with family and friends, be happy every single minute you can spare,

Take in all the good in yourself, don’t drown yourself in hopelessness and despair,

And when you feel so drained and disconnected, talk to God, He’s ever there.
Don’t withdraw from those who love you, there’ll be a ripple effect,

And you’ll hurt them, when all they wanna do is to love and protect,

Redefine your feelings, value your life, no single person’s life is perfect,

Don’t deny them a chance to be there for you, if they wanna help, don’t object.
Let go of that perceived burdensomeness, YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN TO THEM.

©MAINA

KEEP ON THE FIGHT

It’s difficult to separate the past from the present,

Not everything that has been bent can be unbent,

You cannot unmeet people, or un-go places you’ve went,

You cannot un-cry your tears or un-argue an argument,

You cannot un-break a heart or take back an ill comment,

You cannot un-say words you said because you needed to vent,

You cannot take back time or wish away time you’ve spent,

Things get messed up every once in a while, with or without intent,

Some scars will remain and not every grain of dreg can sediment,

Some things just can’t be put back together once they fragment,

You can choose to be better or spend the rest of your life in lament,

You can make a choice to forgive or live with that hateful torment,

You can take a new dimension in life or spiral down the pitiful descent,
There’s nothing you can do about the past, it’s the past and that’s just it,

Sometimes the least you can do about your mistakes is just to admit,

And then find a new path in life and pray that your ego can permit,

Not everything’s your fault, some situations and people are just a total misfit,

Not every fight can be won, not every situation in life will be for your benefit,

Your next new best-friend may just turn out to be the worst hypocrite,

You just might lose your new job no matter how much you commit,

Once in a while you’ll be flattered by a smile that’s full of deceit,

You may give out your heart to someone and they turn out to be a cheat,

But it doesn’t mean that you give up on people or concede to defeat,

Sometimes what breaks you is what is meant to make you complete,

It’s not all times that you’ll win; and a wise man knows when to quit,

But sometimes the worst mistake you can make is to take the backseat.
And when it feels like the tunnel is endless or at the end there’s no light,

Look up to the one who feeds the sparrows, mere birds of flight.

Have faith that He watches over you, He that separated day from night,

That even at that moment when your strength is failing, His is not finite,

He authored your life, He knows what’s going on, trust Him to make it right,

Not all situations in life have answers, not all wars can be won by might,

Sometimes the only way up is down on your knees, make it your delight,

Have a little more faith in yourself and in people, put on a little more fight,

Hold on a little bit longer even though your pain may not go away overnight,

Fight for the sake of those who see you as their definition of ‘alright’,

And whether the whole world has faith in you or holds you in spite,

There’s always a reason to take the next breath, to keep your goal in sight,

Someone’s been where you are; keep alive the faith, keep on the fight.

©Paynter

LOVE THEM ANYWAY

LOVE THEM ANYWAYLoving someone who can never love you back can be unbearable,

The damages it does to your heart overwhelming and irreparable,

Yet it draws such compassion from the depths of your soul,

Something so deep and true over which you have no control.

It doesn’t matter how many times you’re lied to,

How many times they’re untrue and leave you feeling blue

Or how many nights you spend awake consoling them,

You love them with all their flaws, you never condemn,

It doesn’t matter even when so much doubt fills your heart,

You still love them through it anyway.
When you choose to love someone who’s struggling for their life,

Too burdened by the weight of their own pain and strife,

When you commit yourself to bear someone’s hurts and agony,

When you choose to walk with them in their moments of fear and apathy

When you can love them even when their darkest moment in life comes,

You discover how deep your capacity for empathy and kindness runs.

Dedicating yourself to someone who cannot give you the same dedication back,

Is a risk we all fear to take; like trending down a blind fearful track.

Caring for others with all their flaws and weaknesses is not easy,

But you still love them through it anyway.
Be with them ‘cause you care, love and feel they’re worthy and deserving,

Not because you pity them, feel obligated to, or ‘cause it’s gratifying.

Give enough weight to your every “I’m here for you”,

Be there for them, walk with them, carry them if you have to.

Everyone needs someone, but there’s someone who needs you specifically,

In whatever way, be it physically, spiritually or emotionally,

There’s always someone who needs you more than you need him or her,

Someone going through grief, a heartbreak, illness or just seeing their life in a blur,

They may be incapable of giving us a relationship equivalent to that which we give them,

Just learn to love them unconditionally: LOVE THEM ANYWAY.

© MAINA

Tree Analogy

I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever…They are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:

LEAF PEOPLE
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can’t depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can’t be angry at them, it’s just who they are.

BRANCH PEOPLE
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it’s possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it’s tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can’t handle too much weight. But again, you can’t be mad with them, it’s just who they are.

ROOT PEOPLE
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don’t let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.

Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people’s lives?

THANK GOD FOR THE ROOTS!

~ I fall, I rise. I make mistakes. I live, I learn. I’ve been hurt, but I’m alive. I’m human, I am not perfect, but I’m thankful. ~loan-oak-tree

The Sting Of Death

The end of life has been a mystery over thousands of generations. Death is an unexplainable to humanity, yet it happens all the time globally. The issue of death has for ages defeated the human mind. Not that presently the underlying mysteries have been unraveled. In fact, during this times of technological and scientific advancement, the mystery surrounding death has been weighty than ever before. Moreover, no scientific knowledge gathered offers an elaborate explanation of what transpires after one dies. However, religious beliefs and conscience gives hope and creates the image of an afterlife. The only thing that most people are in consensus about death is its sense of finality-an end.

In the quest to understand death, people have different analogies and philosophies to understand the afterlife. Depending on the culture, own race, religion or geographical areas humanity tends to find comfort in knowing death collectively. The worst menace about death is that it occurs in infants throughout to the aged. It is known as the only certainty of life because it is inevitable. The unpreparedness of when it might happen grips many with fear. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a known psychiatrist and author of many books on death tried to analyze death and came up with theories on how to deal with death as no concrete evidence gives a picture of what follows death. No matter the ways we try to deal with death the questions remain, is death merely the absence of life? Can understanding death alleviate its fear? Can anyone reach the level of not being afraid of death?

Therefore, the religious perspective about the antecedents of death holds a prominent place in such discussions. For instance, most of the renowned world religion share a common stand about the transformation from one life to the other upon death. It is a common belief that; death is not an end of life per se, but it is rather a bridge or a stepping stone to the next life. As such, many religious denominations, use their sacred writs to offer this explanation. The Christians use the Bible, the Muslims the Quran which shares lots of similarities on matters of the afterlife. Hence, it is evident that religion answers the question that science fails to.

The Bible and the Quran base their stories on a promise. Both books expressly provide that there exist a promised land purposely prepared for dwelling by those who follow the rules of the deity. Moreover, in this case, it is the rules of God and Allah respectively as referred. For instance, the Bible categorically states that Jesus (John 14:3). Went to prepare a place for those who believe in Him and abide by the rules of God. Moreover, it further says the believers will inherit eternal life in paradise. Similarly, the Quran propounds the same message. For instance, the Quran provides that those who follow the will of Allah shall be partakers of the heavenly kingdom referred to as paradise. The followers rest assured of a reunion with their loved ones who died before them. Therefore, death’s image as the end of life is nullified by the religious beliefs; they give the hope of an afterlife.

Therefore, gathering from what these Holy Books offer, the earthly life is just fleeting and temporary. It is just an avenue where people are vested with the free will to choose either: to abide by the law, which leads to eternal life; or to go astray and experience eternal suffering. As such it is evident that regardless of the ways that the subjects choose, the notion of life after death exists. Either way, death leads to another life where one receives the rewards of their deeds in the physical life.

Different cultures perform rituals and rites to help them understand or deal with death. Eastern and some Asian cultures believe in incarnation, the reappearing after death in another form. Some belief in returning in the form of animals or inhabiting the life of a newborn baby. Vilma Ruddock, the author of “Death Rituals in Africa,” states, “ Death rituals in Africa are deeply rooted in the cultural beliefs, traditions, and indigenous religions of the continent. They are guided by Africans’ view of existence after death and the power and role of the deceased ancestor. Rituals evolved through the infusion of Christianity, Islam, and modern changes, but traditional themes survive in Africa and among people of African descent in the Caribbean and the Americas.”

Fear of displeasing the dead among some cultures in Africa lead them to perform very dramatic rituals. All night vigils are held at the deceased home to allow family, friends, and neighbors to pay their last respects. During that mourning season, all people shave their heads bald and wail all night. Some go to the extent of hiring expert Wailers to perform the mourning dirge. They slaughter cows and goats, the blood and traditional drinks are poured as libations to appease the ancestors. The funeral is followed by others rituals to ensure that the deceased spirit rests in peace. Failure to appease the dead is believed to cause nightmares and bad luck in the family.

Gillian Welch, an American singer, and songwriter sang a song dubbed, “Am Not Afraid To Die.”  There maybe people who echo that phrase but if sincerity were measurable they would be found wanting. In the Western cultures, society has a way of creating a fantasy that some people have immortality, great leaders, famous celebrities and mostly our loved ones.

Guy Somerset wrote about, “The Four Stages Of Western Celebrity Grief Syndrome.” The stages range from disbelief to devotionals to exaggeration and finally capitalization. The same case applies to many with the death of a loved one. The first reaction is denial because in our minds death should never occur to them.The disbelief that death has found a way to sting where it hurts most reflects on the illusion many have created around themselves as a way to ignore its existence. In the case of celebrities, some weeks later after their death was the breaking news. The funeral rituals performed. Their wealth divided among the heirs, and a month later, they tend to be forgotten.

Unfortunately, when death occurs to a loved one reality sets in. The mask is torn apart and then one can only hold on to a belief that will emanate inner strength to assist in facing reality. The demise of a loved one gone on a journey never to be returned. The bereaved go through grief in different levels. Throughout the mind trying to understand the meaning of death.Behind the grief is the overwhelming fear that death may find its way to them. There are cases where death occurs, and body is not recovered, and there is no closure, there remains a ray of hope that one day the presumed dead would reappear.

Moreover, the loss of interest of living may occur to someone grieving. Lack of appetite, sleep and lack of general life drive may be displayed by the bereaved. Some go to the extent of declaring they have no more desire to live. However, if something threatening happens they may react with the flight or freeze stress reactions. Both responses display hidden fear of death. Nobody wants to die no matter how verbal his or her lack of interest in life.

Finally, there are those who hide their fear of death by becoming angry at the dead. They blame the dead for allowing it to have victory over their life. In their anger, there is a fantasy that there could have been an action powerful enough to stop death.Ironically when asked to explain  what measures could overcome death, all they have is the question, “ why did they die?” Eventually, some might end up taking the behavior of the departed to preserve their memories.

In conclusion, death will remain the scary hidden monster that produces its painful sting in random time to all humanity through countless generations. No scholar, culture or group has got answers to reduce the personal fear of death in humankind. There is comfort in trying to understand the afterlife, but we are yet to understand death and its sting.

@Lucy Paynter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CITED WORK:

Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, Stanford Wessler, and Louis V. Avioli. “On death and dying.” Jama 221.2 (1972): 174-179.

Gillian Weltch. “I’m not afraid to die.”

“Death Rituals in Africa – LoveToKnow.”. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Nov. 2016 <http://dying.lovetoknow.com/Death_Rituals_in_Africa&gt;. accessed Nov 17, 2016,

KJV John 14:1-3 Hindson, Ed. “15 Future Events that Will Shake the World,” Harvest House Publishers, 2014.

 

 

 

Forget Not.

Pastor Lucy Paynter

Bless and affectionately praise the Lord, O my soul, And all that is 2.png[deep] within me, bless His holy name. Bless and affectionately praise the Lord, O my soul, And do not FORGET any of His benefits;
PSA 103:1‭-‬2 AMP.
Forgetting where one has come from leads to pride and then downfall.

Forgetting what the Lord has done for you in the past saps praise from you and give room to murmuring.

Forgetting what friends or family did for you when you were down leads to shattered relationships and exposure to scrutiny.
Choose not to forget, and your heart will flow with thanksgiving, encouragement and motivation to many.
I choose to remember what God has done for me.
I choose to remember the people who have stood with me.
I choose to remember, and I give God all the glory.
I choose to remember and teach and tell my kids…

View original post 26 more words

Forget Not.

Bless and affectionately praise the Lord, O my soul, And all that is 2.png[deep] within me, bless His holy name. Bless and affectionately praise the Lord, O my soul, And do not FORGET any of His benefits;
PSA 103:1‭-‬2 AMP.
Forgetting where one has come from leads to pride and then downfall.

Forgetting what the Lord has done for you in the past saps praise from you and give room to murmuring.

Forgetting what friends or family did for you when you were down leads to shattered relationships and exposure to scrutiny.
Choose not to forget, and your heart will flow with thanksgiving, encouragement and motivation to many.
I choose to remember what God has done for me.
I choose to remember the people who have stood with me.
I choose to remember, and I give God all the glory.
I choose to remember and teach and tell my kids that God is faithful, there are gifted people who God position in your life in the times of need.
I choose to remember…
-©Pastor Lucy Paynter.

PURSUE YOUR DREAMS

PURSUE YOUR DREAMS
I always say that the beauty of a dream is in the mind of the dreamer,

And taking charge of your dreams and not simply settling for a daydreamer,

Is what makes you choose to invest in them even when the odds are against you,

And gives you the strength to brace the twists and curves till you break through,

It’s never a smooth ride, but it powers you to reveal yourself to yourself,

So don’t let yourself lose the momentum at the prime of the dream itself.
People will shut you down and criticize you for being overly ambitious,
And leave you stuck to holding yourself back in the name of being cautious,

They’ll try to influence you and dissuade you from pursuing your aspirations,

Half of them because they are afraid you’ll succeed beyond their expectations,

Listen to your own heart, choose your dreams, your passion, choose your own path,

There’s something bigger than what you have, go out there and cut your own swath.
Get past that perfectly rational concern about moving beyond where you are,

Don’t follow a path charted for you by others, rise beyond the moon and star,

You’ll fail sometimes, and maybe even lose faith, and things will get hazy,

But the fight’ll be worth it whether or not everyone else thinks you’re crazy

Don’t let the society’s opinion of success deter you from building your dream,

Focus your time and effort on your dreams no matter how futile it may seem.
There’ll always be that voice in your head rattling off reasons to give up the fight,

And sometimes letting go feels like the better option, but it pays to hold on tight,

Some setbacks may turn out to be the best thing that could ever happen to you,

It’s not about the hurdles you face or have faced, do the best that you can do,

Security is an illusion; it can easily enslave even the best and the brightest,

Be grateful for what you have, but aspire to reach your goals, to be the best.

Challenge those cognitive errors of black-or-white assumptions that you hold,

Let one failure inspire your next attempt to be better and watch your world unfold,

Take those baby steps towards realizing your dream every single chance you get,

Explore your options, lay your foundations, aim higher; don’t give up yet,

Appreciate what you’ve achieved and the many times you’ve exceeded expectations,

Set your own standards of achievement and go after them, whatever the conditions.
You don’t have to win over people who only criticize you and enjoy seeing you in tears,

You do have a choice, to either engage in self-sabotage or to conquer your fears,

Allow yourself to feel the negative, to cry if you must cry, but stay positive,

It’s possible for your dreams to come true, be fearless and clear in your motive,

Stay true to yourself, fight because it’s worth it, believe because it’s worth it,

Don’t procrastinate, pursue your dreams, take risks, the victory will be worth it.

©MAINA

A LETTER FROM THE BOY CHILD

Pastor Lucy Paynter

Dear you,,,, yes, you,,,,,all of you.

I hope this gets to you in time, and there’s something you can do.

They call me The Boy and back then I used to be considered a blessing.

I’m writing to tell you…no, to remind you how I’ve been progressing.

My mother and sisters love to believe I’m growing up in a patriarchal society,

And all I have to do is be a man, that’s their definition of reality.

My aunt thinks I’m programmed to bottle up my pain and anguish,

To suffer in silent agony, she says, will cure my sister’s languish.

I don’t understand what I did wrong. I’m just a child lost in neglect,

Why can’t even dad see how much my life has become wrecked?

I watch the sun go down hoping you’ll reach out, though you are disinclined.

What in God’s name did I do to warrant being…

View original post 171 more words

A LETTER FROM THE BOY CHILD

Dear you,,,, yes, you,,,,,all of you.

I hope this gets to you in time, and there’s something you can do.

They call me The Boy and back then I used to be considered a blessing.

I’m writing to tell you…no, to remind you how I’ve been progressing.

My mother and sisters love to believe I’m growing up in a patriarchal society,

And all I have to do is be a man, that’s their definition of reality.

My aunt thinks I’m programmed to bottle up my pain and anguish,

To suffer in silent agony, she says, will cure my sister’s languish.

I don’t understand what I did wrong. I’m just a child lost in neglect,

Why can’t even dad see how much my life has become wrecked?

I watch the sun go down hoping you’ll reach out, though you are disinclined.

What in God’s name did I do to warrant being left behind?

Why fight to rescue my sister only to start pushing me into the shell?

When it can’t contain me anymore, how will words dispel what you know so well?

I’m struggling enough to grow into a man, just let me anchor unto thee.

All I need is someone to empower and to mentor but not to suffocate me.

You have abandoned me and left me to succumb to destitution,

Desperately searching in the eyes of the society for consolation.

And all you’ve fed me is depression, hopelessness and loneliness.

If I grow messed up, will you seek my redemption and salvation or your forgiveness?

You’re busy breeding an angry, marginalized generation of men,

Vascillating between climbing out at any cost and embracing the glen.

Was what I’ve become unexpected after being so unloved, unwanted?

Could a boy grow up in a world full of uncertainties and not come out blunted?

I hope this gets to you in time, and there’s something you can do.

Yours Desperately,

The Boy.

©Maina​

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