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Bounce… Back …From… Rejection…..

I Love You. Go Away.

It’s not you. It’s me.
I swear it’s not you. It’s me.
Well, it’s a little you.
Who am I kidding? It’s so you.
In fact, if you weren’t you, we would still be us.

Does this sound familiar? Have you been the recipient of this peppy little oratory? It’s called rejection, and if you have a pulse, you’ve probably experienced it.

Someone once told me that life is merely a series of rejections until we reach the end when life itself rejects us, and we die. He wasn’t a glass-half-full kind of guy. But he had a point.

Rejection takes many forms: The baseball team, the credit card, the college, the club, the clique, the loan, the job. All of these and so much more are fraught with the danger of rejection.

But then there’s the mama of all rejections. The bone-crushing, soul-sapping, mind-blowing, heartbreaking rejection. And it usually starts with these words: “I love you.” And it ends with: “Go away.”

Well, maybe not those exact words, but the meaning is clear. A moment ago, I thought you were the love of my life, but now I know you’re the mistake of my life. In other words, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

And there we stand, the rejectees, our mouths hanging open, our hips bruised from being blindsided. We didn’t see it coming. Didn’t you just say how wonderful I am? Wasn’t love mentioned just hours ago? Didn’t I recently hear something about being beautiful, perfect, a soul mate?

And after we recover from the initial shock and can draw breath again, we might negotiate: I don’t have to be me, we might say. I can change, be a whole different me. Anything not to be rejected by you.

from the blog
From the blog
“I Love You. Go Away. | Huffington Post.”. N.p., n.d. Web. 03 Oct. 2016 <;.

Overview of the book of Joshua

The Hesitant Prize Fighter

A friend requested me to help her with an overview of the book of Joshua, so, instead of writing just to her, i decided to post it on my blog as well.

Historical Context Of The Book Of Joshua

The stories in the book of Joshua takes place exactly after the death of Moses, God appeared to Joshua to encourage him to lead the people into the promise land. By then the Israelites have already wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. Moses died on Mount Nebo after giving his final sermon in the book of Deuteronomy.

Joshua prepared the people to cross over to the Jordan, and lead 2 military campaign against the 7 tribes of Canaan. The book ended up with Joshua dividing the territories among the 12 tribes and his final address to the people before his death.

Sadly Joshua did not appoint a leader to follow…

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I imagined how Jesus lived everyday during his ministry with Judas.Jesus knew that his purpose will be fulfilled through Judas.
When calling the apostles Jesus didn’t postpone Judas appointment.Yet Jesus Knew

When assigning responsibility
Judas was an office bearer in Jesus ministry, The treasurer of His ministry was Judas.Yet Jesus Knew.
Judas motives and love of money was in display when a woman with expensive perfume worshipped at Jesus feet.He complained of the act and monetarized the worship to be worthy two hundred denari.Judas hid behind the mask of helping the poor.Yet Jesus Knew.
Judas was ensnared by what he loved most…Money.Thirty pieces of silver would increase the treasury, his ministry would increase.Simply by a kiss and the increase would happen.Yet Jesus Knew.
What do you do with the Judas of your life?
How did Jesus live with Judas in his life?

©Pastor Lucy Paynter




Hello sir, I’ve got something I want to tell you, can we talk?

I’ve been seeing you, you know, you pass along this block,

I’ve been wanting to ask you, but you’re always fast when you walk,

Sir, do you think I’m different, you know, from the rats in the dock?

There’s something in the way you look at me, like you mean to mock,

And it’s been really disturbing me, day-in, day out, round the clock,

I’d have followed you home, but didn’t think you’d open if I knock,

So tell me sir, what do you think of me? I’m I just part of the sidewalk?
I just can’t seem to understand, no matter how much I rack my brain,

I watch the rest of you and ask myself, does anyone understand my pain?

Is it my fault that I don’t have a home? That I have to sleep out in the rain?

That I’ve been reduced to combing through garbage cans my life to sustain?

Do you have to insult me when I beg for food? Couldn’t you be a bit humane?

I’m I just good for the camera for you to beg for funds from which I never gain?

What happens to the funds you get after you use my face in your campaign?

What did I ever do to deserve going through this pain again and again?
Sometimes I wonder how it feels like to wake up knowing what you will eat,

For breakfast, lunch and dinner, without the rats and street dogs to compete,

That you’ll have a roof over your head after a day under the suns scorching heat,

And not have to just drop anywhere without anything to cover with in the street,

To have a bed to sleep on and not have to spend your nights on cold concrete,

To have a mom or dad to stand up for you when bullies and strangers mistreat,

To be able to eat well, to bathe, have a nice change of clothes, to be neat,

Not having people turn away from you like you have MERS when you try to greet,

I’d love to know a new normal, to know how it feels like not going without,

To live a life free of such mystery, free of all this uncertainties, all this doubt,

To know love, to have a normal childhood, to know what family life’s all about,

To just but have a feel of what people mean when they talk about cookout,

Do you think there’s hope for me sir? If you could, would you help me out?

Is there something out there for me? Is my entire life just a total washout?

Is there any chance that someday there is going be a turnabout,

In the societies attitude towards me or things will remain like this throughout?
Have you ever in your life considered becoming a volunteer?

Or doing something to ease my problems and my fear?

Like giving out the old clothes you haven’t worn since yesteryear?

In whatever state, they’ll be good enough for me to wear,

Or just spending time with me, simply lending me your ear,

Sometimes all I need is to feel like someone holds me dear,

That in whatever state, someone cares and will always be near,

To give me hope to hold on even when my pain is so severe.
It’s not my wish to live like this, circumstances dictate,

If only it were possible to change the hand of fate,

I would not be in the streets with no one to educate,

At the risk of contracting diseases with no one to vaccinate,

Dying of curable diseases with no one to medicate,

At the mercies of perverts my innocence to violate,

Robbed of dignity while my suffering you underestimate,

If only you could understand, if only you could relate.

If only you could see my world through my eyes,

Then you could know how I feel when you despise,

You could know much I dread seeing another sunrise,

Knowing my daytime demons will yet again arise,

And I will relive the pains of yesterday without any choice,

Oh how I wish that someone would hear my cries,

That I didn’t have to live looking forward to my demise,

That someday life will be kind to give me a reason to rejoice.



I am

img-20160904-wa0028I’m a perfectionist, I work the details to the dots in the i’s
And I believe if we fall and keep breathing we can always arise.
Sometimes I wonder, ‘if I’d become everything I wanted as a girl,
Would I be better than this or caught up in a different whirl?’
I close my eyes and hear the voices of those who look up to me,
The hopeful eyes in their pictures…..I think I can see what they see,
I want to wake up one morning and see the people I care about happy.
I’m a perfectionist, I work the details to the dots in the i’s
And I believe if we fall and keep breathing we can always arise.

I pretend I’m not hurt even when I am,
‘Cause when fighting ain’t an option,the least we can do is keep calm.
There’re times when I feel terribly overwhelmed,
But bless everything through which I’ve helmed,
There’s been God, there’s been you, to pull me through.
I oft’n worry that the things I so believe in may not be true,
And you can trust me to cry at the idea of failing in what I set out to do.
I’m a perfectionist, I work the details to the dots in the i’s
And I believe if we fall and keep breathing we can always arise.

I understand that it’s hard to please everyone,
But if I could, there’s nothing I’d want more than to see a smile on the face of every man.
I believe and so say everyone deserves a second chance,
I judge not…at least never at first glance.
I dream of the day when I can look at my life and say ‘this is where I wanted to be.
I have, I do, I always will try the best in everyone to see,
And I hope at the end of my life, I will not have left a trail of broken hearts behind me.

©Pastor Lucy Paynter



KEEP ON THE FIGHT. It’s difficult to separate the past from the present, Not everything that has been bent can be unbent, You cannot unmeet people, or un-go places you’ve went, You cannot un-cry your tears or un-argue an argument, You cannot un-break a heart or take back an ill comment, You cannot un-say words you said because you needed to vent, You cannot take back time or wish away time you’ve spent, Things get messed up every once in a while, with or without intent, Some scars will remain and not every grain of dreg can sediment, Some things just can’t be put back together once they fragment, You can choose to be better or spend the rest of your life in lament, You can make a choice to forgive or live with that hateful torment, You can take a new dimension in life or spiral down the pitiful descent, There’s nothing you can do about the past, it’s the past and that’s just it, Sometimes the least you can do about your mistakes is just to admit, And then find a new path in life and pray that your ego can permit, Not everything’s your fault, some situations and people are just a total misfit, Not every fight can be won, not every situation in life will be for your benefit, Your next new best-friend may just turn out to be the worst hypocrite, You just might lose your new job no matter how much you commit, Once in a while you’ll be flattered by a smile that’s full of deceit, You may give out your heart to someone and they turn out to be a cheat, But it doesn’t mean that you give up on people or concede to defeat, Sometimes what breaks you is what is meant to make you complete, It’s not all times that you’ll win; and a wise man knows when to quit, But sometimes the worst mistake you can make is to take the backseat. And when it feels like the tunnel is endless or at the end there’s no light, Look up to the one who feeds the sparrows, mere birds of flight. Have faith that He watches over you, He that separated day from night, That even at that moment when your strength is failing, His is not finite, He authored your life, He knows what’s going on, trust Him to make it right, Not all situations in life have answers, not all wars can be won by might, Sometimes the only way up is down on your knees, make it your delight, Have a little more faith in yourself and in people, put on a little more fight, Hold on a little bit longer even though your pain may not go away overnight, Fight for the sake of those who see you as their definition of ‘alright’, And whether the whole world has faith in you or holds you in spite, There’s always a reason to take the next breath, to keep your goal in sight, Someone’s been where you are; keep alive the faith, keep on the fight.


Be insipired

Life happens…..
Just like the earth is created with mountains, valleys,hills, rivers, oceans, wilderness deserts , forests and plains.The world is beautiful because of all this .
So is life there are times when it’s smooth and well.sometimes it’s uphill or downhill.Other times it’s stormy and total confusion.But that’s the beauty of life.
So when life happens just hang in there the creator of the heavens and earth is in control….



Strife is the greatest drawback to any progress.
How much can we do together if we don’t strife.
How fast can we accomplish our goals if we don’t strife.

So much time and energy goes to waste while we strife.
So many wounds in minds and hearts while we strife.

Why do we strife with one another
Why do we think we are better than the other
Remember we are all unique
Remember we are all indispensable
Finally always remember that the bible warns us against strife.
A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth,
© Pastor Lucy PaynterPlaceholder Image

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